Day 10 of Radiation/Chemo

I took mom to her treatments today. She is doing well in my estimation. Her walking is much steadier than a week ago. She has moments of clarity and can follow some ideas through. She still is confused most of the time though. She has practically no pain, has not had any nausea or vomiting, and so far still has her hair. She is able to take care of herself and just needs a little direction. Although, I have a very difficult time getting her going in the AM and I really struggle to keep her from applying makeup before we got to radiation! I do get frustrated with her confusion and memory loss. The frustration is not at her but at the situation in general.

We see the radiology oncologist tomorrow and the oncologist on Friday. I don't think we will learn anything much different since she is doing well at this point.

Day 8

I keep hoping that one of my sisters will post a picture or two that we took at Thanksgiving. I would love for all of you to be able to see mom. I think she looks good. So far she has not lost any hair but I understand that may start this week. She wears hats to keep the incision protected from the sun. She looks cute in the hats and scarfs!

I was able to work today and don't have a lot to say since I was not with her today. She did go to Jiu Jitsu to watch the kids tonight. Seemed to enjoy it although she thought it was very early in the morning. She took a nap before we went and that threw her off I guess. Waneta sat with her today and I think things were pretty quiet here.

Whoever wrote about the alarm system, thank you. I will check out the site. Hopefully it will be what we need. That is much cheaper than the other options so far.

Our Day of Rest

This weekend was crazy busy. We had a two day yard sale and we have made major progress to packing up the house. We even got some stuff moved into storage! We kept bringing stuff to the sale and actually have more in the sale now than when it started! So we intend to do another sale next weekend if the weather allows. We are sending some furniture to consignment this week as well as some kid clothes. (I spend way too much on this later item! Don't tell Steve!)

Mom had a great weekend. I think some of the confusion is better with her increase in steroids. But the memory is still not working. She watched the travel channel tonight and when going to bed thought we were on a cruise ship. I figure her life is more interesting than mine right now. Her friend came to get her Friday and they went to the park to walk. She walked over a mile! So, we have kept her walking. She went to Wal-Mart, Target and back to Wal-Mart! We went to church this morning and she has done really well with all this. The second trip to Wal-Mart wore her out. We had her ride in the motorized carts in Target and Wal-Mart! Boy was that interesting. She can zip around in one of those things. She kept driving off! Sarah and I were constantly running after her. At one point I just followed her without her knowing. She drove all over. I think she was looking for us. So I just stepped out in front of her at one point so that she thought she found me. (I try real hard to not correct her or let her know how closely I keep an eye on her.) She looked pleased with herself and relieved.

I am afraid she will leave the house. We have a baby monitor but I did not hear her get up the other night. She let the dog out and turned on a lot of lights. I don't think she was up more than a few minutes before me, but that would be long enough to get lost. We have talked about an alarm on the door (like the as seen on TV alarms), but I don't want to scare her to death just because she lets out the dog. We then talked about an alarm system that would only alarm in our room, but this is a little pricey. Someone told me about an arm/wrist band like a house arrest bracelet that could track her, but I imagine this is also pricey. Do any of you have any other ideas. I dreamed the other day I was running down the driveway yelling as she was driving off! (We have the keys hidden.)

Today we just rested. We all slept for several hours after church. It was a welcome and I think very necessary break. We will hit it hard again this week and hopefully finish some big projects.
Thanks for your prayers and support. She reads her cards everyday.

Garage Sale Day

We spent all day today trying to sell our excess stuff. And boy do we have excess! I don't think I have gotten rid of anything during our 15 years of marriage. I told Steve I hope I just turned over a new leaf. I don't ever want to horde so much stuff again. We have almost finished packing. We have what I consider the hardest room yet. Our junk room. It is the catch all and where I stash everything I don't want to deal with! But then it will just be a matter of finishing up loss ends and moving every thing into storage. At night we have been trying to organize the things that we brought with us. We needed to bring more stuff than I anticipated. I guess it usually works that way. It is hard boxing up your whole life. I've always said that it was all just stuff, and now I get to put that belief into action. Yet it is a little hard.

Mom is more confused and even a little bit irritable today. We have noticed a decrease in her memory over the past few days. She is also more confused. She is getting things she has known for years mixed up. Yesterday she said Jana and Josh were in high school together. I won't say how old, but Jana is a few years older than Josh and they were never in school together. She forgets we live with her and we startle her continually. I hate seeing the surprised and frightened look on her face. This morning she was very distrustful of Anna, stating that Anna lies to her all the time. The she said I lie too and she can't trust any of us. This lasted only a few minutes and then she was pleasant the rest of the day. She does ask if we are telling secrets all the time. I can see this suspicion though since we try to talk about business and more unpleasant things away from her. She gets frustrated when we talk about her condition in front of her. The steroids, radiation and tumor are probably all playing a role in the irritability and distrust. We just pray that the effects will be mild and short lived. Mom has always been such a pleasant person. The doctor calls it the "steroid monster".

Well, I need a shower and some sleep. If you need any junk just give me a ring and I'll hook you up!

Thanksgiving

Today is traditionally a day of being thankful, being with family, and eating. We did all three of these things today but not in the traditional way.

We worked on our house today sorting, packing, and pricing. We will hold a two day garage sale tomorrow and Saturday. We really weren't ready, but the weather was to be near perfect. We decided to run an ad and just work hard and do the best we could. So tomorrow is the day.

We had leftovers and still managed to eat too much on this holiday of food!

We are thankful for every minute we have to spend with mom and family right now. It may not be all fun and games right now, but we do our share of laughing. We are blessed with a strong family bond and belief in God. We can see God's hand in everything. As much as we are scared and afraid, we are able to rest in God. Everything that happens is in His hands and time. That takes alot of pressure off us too.

Running for Office

Well, today mom informed Jana and Brad that she needed to pick up paperwork at the courthouse because she was running for County Clerk! This was news to all of us but apparently dad knew because he filed the paperwork for her. So now you all know to vote for her and not Freddy.

We had a nice dinner last night. We got out the China and everything just like mom always did. I do believe her cooking was better than mine. We all ate and laughed and she seemed to enjoy the evening. We were sitting there just after clearing the table, when she looked up and said, "Well now, we have about 2 weeks until Thanksgiving, what should we eat?" We all just looked at her very stunned and said we just ate it. She replied, "Oh well, I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore." LOL

Josh left today for the military. I don't think mom quite understood what was happening which was sad. Josh was a little sad I think. He also seemed nervous. I know I would be. It was a real bitter sweet moment. Sweet in the fact that Josh has always talked about joining the military. I believe they will be able to help him realize his full potential. Bitter in the fact that he left. We will miss him and it will seem strange not talking to him regularly. I am afraid he will be surprised at mom's condition after boot camp. There will be little communication during this time and she will have completed radiation and still be on chemo. For all of you praying, please add Josh to the list. We are afraid they may kill him during boot camp. ;-)

Well, I am so tired I am laughing hysterically at the last sentence so I think it is time to go to bed!

Just a Quick Note

We are in the middle of cooking Thanksgiving Dinner and I had an opportunity to sit down for a minute. Mom is having a good day. She went to church this morning with Josh and Monica. They came in all smiles. We were even able to go to our church this morning. It felt so good to be there. I am amazed at the number of people that come up to us and say they are praying for mom! So I can only imagine how many more would be praying at her church where she knows more people.

After she got home and we had lunch, mom got up and washed some dishes! She then retired to the living room to take a short nap. Now she is watching TV. But only after a fright! Josh is always playing jokes on everyone. So, while cleaning his room, he rediscovered a plastic roach that has made many appearances in our family. I have a sister who is deathly afraid of roaches. She says she can "smell" them! ;-) Well, Josh washed the little guy and put it in the cake keeper. Mom came through the kitchen to see what was going on and decided to get a piece of cake! She opened the lid, started and got the willies. She just looked at it like now what do I do - I really wanted a piece of cake! I quickly informed her that it was fake and she laughed! We will see if she remembers later!

Well, I'm sure there is something I should be doing so I'll sign off for now and blog again later!

A Day of Rest

We did very little today. Mom was able to rest all day. She stayed in bed for the best part of the day. But she got up this evening when Anna and her family brought Sarah home from the movies. We then had to go to Hot Springs to change cars with Josh. It was a nice little drive and we say Monica and her mom for a few minutes. On the way, Sarah wanted to sing her favorite christian song "Open the eyes of my heart Lord." We sang that several times, then she wanted to sing her own version and wanted us to sing along with her. Well we obviously did not know the words to this new song and we were trying to keep up with her (per her "sweet" little request) and it was quite funny. Mom laughed and laughed trying to sing with Sarah. It was really good to hear her just laugh. She knew all the words to the original song and that was also good to hear her sing.

We plan to celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow with the whole family. I was planning on a non-traditional meal. A neighbor is bringing over a Paula Dean cassorole. But the closer it gets the more anxious I feel about not cooking a turkey for mom. So, I am headed out at 10:30 to buy a turkey and dressing to add to tomorrow. I figure we will have a ton of food, but isn't that what we do on holidays anyway. It should be a feast fit for our Queen!!!

Thank you all for your prayers, continued cards and words of encouragement. Every scripture that you all have sent has been perfect. They have all been just what we needed to hear at the exact time. God knows our needs and gives you the encouragement! GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME! Even this pharse makes me smile. One of our very favorite preachers used to say this all the time. He loved the phrase and it has meant alot in so many different situations. Thank you Pastor Billy!! It sunk in! I can even see the little jig when I think of it! And there are days and times I feel like joining the happy little jig even still. Jana and I sang some of those songs on the way to the hospital a couple of weeks ago. We cried and laughed together and it helped. We love you all.

Day 2

We went for more treatment today and saw the doc. Not much for him to report, so he just let us ask questions. Mom was dizzy again after the treatment and he said increasing the steriods might help that. So we go see Dr. Baltz tomorrow. Mom is having some difficulty with her walking and almost fell a couple of times today. We may need to put her in a wheelchair for a while when we have long days and lots of walking. I plan on talking with Dr. Baltz about this. If any of you have a chair or a shower chair we could use it might be helpful. The problem with the chair is how small her trunk is. It will need to be one of the small chairs and light weight since I will be doing most of the lifting!

I am headed tomorrow ( I hope ) to get a handicap hang tag for the car, so those of you who are driving please help me remember to give it to you as well as good directions and how to get in the parking lot. I will try to get a map tomorrow when we go for treatment. Also, mom likes a small cup of decaf coffee when you get there. They have coffee set up in the waiting room. They will come and walk mom back on days I am not there so make sure to let them know you need assistance. They have been very helpful.

I can honestly say we are all very tired at this point, but things are settling down a bit. We have put off packing up the rest of the house for a few days because things around here just keep piling up.

Josh leaves for the military on Monday :-) and :-( He and Monica are spending a lot of time together right now and she will be here most of the weekend. She is a really sweet girl. I think Josh is a lucky boy. I hope they can survive the seperation. It will be hard on both of them. But I'm sure she is proud of him like we are.

Today was the Day

Mom had her first dose of radiation today at CARTI/UAMS. We were there about 1 1/2 hours. They took her to room one where they used a "simulator" to align and plan the therapy. Then they took her to another room where the actual treatment was done. Neither room had a comfortable table for her to lie on, although she had no trouble falling asleep during the 20 or so minutes she was on each table. They strapped her head down with a mask they made last week out of thermoplastic. It was a flat web they warmed with water then stretched it over her face and fastened it to the table. As it cooled and dried it hardened. It looks uncomfortable to me. It fits very tight around her face. Even her eyelashes stick out through the webbing when it is in place. I got to go back with her today. The table is in a treatment room with a huge locking door. A light comes on when the treatment is in process. They have cameras to monitor her while she is in the treatment as well as speakers. I could see her the whole time and she looked like she just slept. She was dizzy afterward and I wonder if that was more from lying on that table than the radiation.

We will have radiation every day at 9:30. It should only take a few minutes now that it has started. They said we should be in and out in 15-20 minutes.

Her chemo arrived today as well, so she took her first dose tonight. They gave her a antinausea pill as well for the first few days. We will see the oncologist Friday.

We're Back

Well, sorry for such a delay in information. Our internet service went out this weekend. Poor Steve has been working nonstop to fix everything that broke this weekend. It is like the house fell apart on us. The disposal broke, the dishwasher broke. The faucet in the bathroom broke. A leak started under same sink (think it was actually an old leak.) Then the hot water shutoff broke so he had to change the faucet with hot water spraying everywhere!!!

So back to mom, she did well this weekend. Lots of activity with Jana and her family and Anna and her abreviated family. We cleaned a lot in the house and ate together. Mom laughed some and enjoyed sitting at the table. She even blessed the food for one meal. (I held my breath over what she might say, but she did great.) She still gets confused more in the evening and when she gets tired. Her incision is healing and she has peach fuss on top now. She wears a hat or scarf to go out now. Although she has only gone out twice. She enjoyed seeing the leaves today and the bright sunshine. We have not ventured to church because we are trying to avoid large crowds. I don't want her sick while that brain is healing.

Thanks to all of you who have provided meals to us. It has been such a help to come in and not have to cook so we can take care of all the chores around the houses. We also appreciate the prayers more than you all probably will ever know. We can tell there are a lot of people praying.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

A need and a correction

We have a medium sized dog that is an outdoor dog. We feel mom's yard is too small for her and need someone to take her. It could be temporary or permanent. The temporary part is tricky because we have no idea how long we will actually be here. Jaz is very friendly and is low maintance since she lives outside. She likes to be played with but then will go do her own thing in the yard. She is some sort of lab but only about 45 pounds. She has had all her shots this year. She makes a great watch dog. She is great with children as well. We would just need visitation rights for the kids since they love Jaz.

Also, someone reminded me that I forgot to put my email address on the site when I mentioned emailing me your email address for the Lots of Helping Hands website invitation. My email address is aetitus@aristotle.net

Mom is stronger by the day and settling into a little routine. She has enjoyed her cards that so many of you have sent to her. Her thoughts seem better especially with some directed conversation. I hope before Wednesday we see some more improvements.

Settling In

Tonight, Anna and her family and Jana with Emily, Josh and Monica, Steve, myself and our kids all had dinner with mom tonight. We were afraid it would be too much, but mom seemed to enjoy her family around her. She got a little overwhelmed at the end and we excused her to take a nap and we wrapped things up.

Jana came in today and I will work tomorrow and Friday. So tomorrow ought to be quieter for mom. Both my kids will be in school! It also gives Jana time with mom.

I'm keeping it short because I keep yawning and my eyelids weigh a ton! Love you all, Angie

Home Sweet Home

I brought mom home today. She first visited with her Radiology Oncologist at UAMS CARTI. She had a CT done to plan her radiation therapy. She will get radiation 5 days a week for about 6 weeks. I will need help on Mondays and Tuesdays getting her to her appointments. I normally work on these days. I posted the need on our help needed website : www.bts.lotsahelpinghands.com If you are interested in helping please email me your email address. I will add you as a member and the site will send you an invitation to the website via that email address. I know this seems formal, but Anna found the site and it is wonderful. They set it up this way to keep someone from signing up as a joke or that we do not know. Once you receive the invitation you follow the link to the sign up site and will set your own password. I think you will find the site easy to follow. I will also add some more meal needs on the site as well. I think we will open it up all the way through her radiation. I don't expect meals every single time but this will give you the most options for when you want and can provide a meal. We have been very blessed by all of you so far. We are going to an everyother day schedule to allow us time to eat the leftovers! I am overwhelmed by all of you. A simple thank you does not seem adequte.

They removed the bandage today and the scar will be in her hair line. I think it will be covered nicely when her hair grows back in. Until then I think we will wear some wide head bands and scarfs. All the activity has worn her out. She is sleeping on the couch as I sit her writing this, waiting on Sarah to come home. We will all be glad to be home tonight. I just hope I can keep my kids quite enough for mom.

They asked us not to have visitors just yet. The doctor is strict about quiet and rest for the next several days. Please call if you need a personal update. We will also be looking for some nights to get away with the kids and these would be ideal times for you to have an excuse to visit. Please let me know if you have an evening or day in mind since I will also need to eventually go to the store.

One More Night

It sounds like a song, but we aren't dancing! They decided to keep her again today so she could see the CARTI people without too much travel. I think it is just a ploy. Mom is a favorite patient you know! They keep telling her how nice she is and all.

She is getting stronger each day. Tonight she walked with very little assistance and I made her bed around 10:30 this morning and it stayed made until after 9:00 tonight. She sat up all day. She is more alert and and much less drowsy. This only makes for more interesting stories! I think we are looking at 3-4 months of probably short term memory problems before things get better since we are starting radiation soon. I think this helps me not be so anxious for her to get better right now. It is hard to think she will not understand everything that will happen over the next several weeks. But that too may be a blessing. She is happy and she has very little pain. Well, I am very tired so I think I will try and get some sleep. Thank you to those who have brought us meals or who have signed up to bring meals. They are a real blessing.

Homecoming Queen

The "Professor" came in this morning and said we could go home tomorrow! I am grateful for the additional day. Even though we are tired of these four little walls and I miss my family terribly, I think mom needed at least another day. She slept most of the day today but by the evening she was in a good mood and walked more steadily. This afternoon we only made it down half the unit and tonight she walked the entire unit and sat in the sunroom again. She gets more confused as the day progresses and tonight she and Pam had quite the conversation. Mom has very little short term memory (sometimes I think it is none) and she puts odd things together which makes for some very interesting stories. She told some family tonight that she was in the hospital because she had a baby. She then turned to me and asked, "What was the name of that baby? Was it Stephanie?" Well she almost named me Stephanie and her aide was named Stephanie a few days ago, so where did all that come from? Beats me. So sometimes we laugh and other times I just want to cry. One nurse told us it can take up to 6 weeks to really see what the edema is doing. I thought I should have been able to guess 6 weeks, isn't everything 6 weeks?!

I have been amazed at how many people love my mom. I keep telling people all that talking in Wal-Mart etc. that has driven me crazy for years is teaching me a lesson. We can not believe how many people now her and love her. We have even had some of her customers come to the hospital to check on her! So I was not surprised but still brought to tears by the response we have gotten to our Lots of Helping Hands web page. Many of you have email me your email addresses to be added to our web page that manages our needs. Then tonight I posted some day that meals would be helpful and when I came back to the computer after dinner some of you had already responded. We thank you so much. We are not used to being in the position to ask for help and it has been hard for us. But as a great missionary once told me, God is teaching me to accept things graciously. This has been bigger than us for the past 3 weeks. We could not have made it without so many of you praying and showing us such kindness. Thank you for loving our mom.

[Since we have a God who sympathizes with our weakness]......Let us thenapproach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may recieve mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. - Hebrews 4:15,16

This scripture was in church this morning, and is very fitting, so I thought I would post it. -Steve

A Little Better

Today mom seemed a little better. She walked around the unit a couple of times, sat up all day and even sat down in the sunroom for a few minutes to "soak up the sunshine". Today she knew the date and that she was in a hospital in Little Rock most of the time when asked. By evening she was exhausted and beginning to get more confused again. The nurses and doctor tell us it is due to swelling in the brain. We enjoy her for brief moments though. She often thinks one of us is the patient. She tries to get the nurses to give us the pill and take our blood pressure. We are not sure if this is confusion or a plot :-) She hates looking in the mirror right now. She comments on how bad she looks each time. I tell her she looks good for what all they have done to her. We did get her in the shower today and actually washed the back of her hair. We dried it real quick so the nurses would not know. She is not supposed to get the bandage wet. We kept it dry, but I still think we would have been fussed at if they knew.

Professor Yasargil said she might get to go home tomorrow or Monday. He wants to get her into the radiologist ASAP. He said this week. He is really pleased with her condition so far. I think he is thinking of using her case for a case study. He wants us to switch oncologist and CARTI to UAMS. I think he wants access to her progress. But that is a battle for another day. We aren't sure exactly what we think is best yet. Mom got really good care from Dr. Baltz and I can't see changing that. His office is already 2 weeks into getting her Temodar. They have bent over backwards to help us fund it.

I know we have not responded to all the individual comments, but we read them all and love you all. We are trying to do better. We have been very busy, and of course mom comes first. Your prayers have not only been heard but we have felt the effects of them as well. We have had peace in some of the most stressful times. Mom really had peace about the surgery the night before and morning of the surgery. I think her faith is monumental.

"Medical Miracle"

I stayed with mom last night on the neuro floor. We have had some good nurses so far and today is no exception. Mom was very restless last night and even squeezed between the rails on her bed and stood up last night. It scared me. I got her back in bed without incident thank God. She wanted to get up all night. We were up probably 20-30 times during the night! So of course now she is sleeping. I will be glad to get her up in the chair and possibly walking today. Hopefully that will help clear her head. She had been confused for about the last 12 hours or so. This morning seems a little better. The doctor came in at 0600 shined a light in her eyes and began asking all sorts of questions. He asked her the month, when she did not know he said "I told you last night". I thought, yeah, you told her October! So I decided the questions were not very relevant!!!

Well, Dr. Yasargil just came in and told mom she was a "medical miracle". Praise God we know who is the true miracle worker. He thought she was doing very well. She has a lot of swelling and bruising around her eyes. He said sometimes this will even be down to the upper chest. We have her sitting up in bed and that is helping with the swelling some. She is very pleasant but continues to be very tired. It looks like we will be her 1-2 more days.

It was hard to see the web address for e-cards, so it is www.uams.edu She has looked at the blog this morning and I read to her some of the comments. She enjoys hearing from everyone. We are trying to keep visits to a minimum until she gains some strength and energy. We will let you know when she is ready for more visitors. If you want you may call and check with Jana or myself. Thank you for all the prayers and support. We serve an awesome God and His hand has been very evident during this entire process. We trust in Him.

Nov. 2, 2006


I saw Mom tonight for about 30 minutes. She looks really well. She no longer has her wrinkle lines on her forehead, :) something she joked about before going in. She knows who everyone is. She is a little disoriented, but we think it is probably her medicine. The main thing is that she still has her personality. She knows who Brianna is at one moment, and in the next she is telling Jana that she is there to help me with the pregnancy... We think the confusion will wear off in a few days. Anyway, thank you for all the prayers and help you have offered us.
~Anna~

Amazing Grace!

WOW! We saw Mom. She is doing very well. She knew who we each were (Angie, Jana, Josh, and I)...she even inquired about Emily's wherabouts. Angie was posting a blog (see below), when Dr. Yasargil came down to the lobby. He asked if we were the Porter family. In his 20+ years of serving at UAMS he has never been to this lobby. Apparantly he had meant for us to be able to see her sooner than now. When he found out that we had not seen Mom he came to personally find us. He did not remove any of her brain, just the tumor, which we should get to see tomorrow. She wiggled her toes for us and squeezed our hands. She responded to us and was in (again) good spirits! We are all so happy right now and Brian just noticed that the sun finally came out. I am confident that the decision to remove the tumor was afterall a good one.
~Anna~

In Recovery

Mom is now in recovery and "doing well". We like those words, but to me doing well is sitting up and asking to go shopping! We will be able to see her at 1700. The waiting is torture! Prof. Yasargil believes he got all of the tumor, but it was a grade 4. Radiation and Chemo is a must. She will most likely start these in about 2 weeks. We will try to update again after we see her. The plan is for her to go home in about 3-4 days!

Thanks to my brother-in-law Brian we have a great new look. Also Anna found a site to help us manage needs and volunteers. If you would like to get updates via e-mail on what mom needs, please send us your email address. We fill in the calendar and the computer emails you the needs. You can then sign up for anything you think you can help with and the computer emails you confirmation and a reminder. My email is aetitus@aristotle.net

Faye's Surgery

Praise God!! Dr. Yasargil just came out and notified us that he was done. He believes he resected the whole tumor. The resident doctor is currently finishing up with Mom. He should be done in about an hour and we should meet with him to receive more information. Thank you for all your support and please continue to pray for Mom. The tumor was diagnosed again today as a stage 4. It looks like Mom will still need chemo and radiation. The doctor also told us that this tumor is very unusual. He said he had never seen a butterfly tumor extend into both hemispheres like hers did. Our prayers now are that no brain tissue damage has been done and that no recurring tumors present themselves in Mom's future. Thanks again for all your love. We are so relieved the surgeon was successful at removing the tumor. Praise God!!!
Jana

Brain Surgery

We are currently at UAMS. Mom is in the middle of having surgery to remove her brain tumor. Dr. Yasargil's nurse called about an hour ago to tell us that everything is going well so far. We have a lot of friends and family up here to show their support and we thank everyone that is unable to come, but that are praying from home or work. She was very confident that this would work before going in. Mom felt that this was the right thing to do. We may not have any updates until this evening. Her surgery should be over around three o'clock, and then the staff will be finishing up.